A Good Lesson, A Bad Day

My Roles in CF

Dr. Ian gave quite a good illustration about our roles in CF. It seems to me that there are 2 groups in CF, one who doesn't serve and one who serve too much. Dr. Ian pointed out that some of us especially served too much that many of us failed our exams. It was a really strong point directed at the committees in a whole. He was making a difference in his university days when he was in the board, all of his fellow comrades were 1st generation and A students. The irony of this difference seem to strike me. What is the difference?

I would have to say that I am ashame of myself because I am one of those who is in the committee and who isn't performing as well as I should in my subjects. Though, God has been gracious that I have yet to fail any papers but my results seems to always be at the borderline. I sometimes wonder if I really am putting too much effort and energy in performing the task that has been planned in CF to perfection. Are we really concentrating too much on activities that we get burned out in the end of the workload?

Lust

Dr. Ian was really frank to us about something personal in his life. His struggle with lust. I finally understand why he is the only lecturer whose window at his door is uncovered, placing all his computers at an angle facing the door. He had a problem with pornography. I could relate to him in some ways as I too at times struggle with it. Guys are generally a more visual being compared to our female counterparts who are more emotional in nature. However, some may have the reverse characteristics. According to "Not even a Hint" by Joshua Harris, 'Girls were made beautiful. Their beauty were meant to be appreciated by their husband to be."

Like any guy, I always like noticing a beautiful girl. There are certain charactristic to a girl in which I admire. I'm not a particular hair person. I like both short and long hair girls. The physical looks seems to capture me the most; big eyes, straight nose, a sweet smile. The others would be a well proportion body going from the neck to the bust to the waist to the but and to the legs. It seem to strike an attention to guys when they noticed certain characteristics that they like. Many of the time thats one of the motivation for guys to get to know a girl. Physical appearance has always generated interest. I can't deny that I am affected by it as well.

However, lust is present when we undress a woman with our eyes. Or we visualise a sexual encounter with that person. Its hard to avoid those thoughts at times. Frankly, I have personally been through it. At times, curiosity does stir a sinful desire. That would be my weakness. As the saying goes, curiosity kills the cat. I have to realise that maturity does plays a vital role in our perceptions. Maturity in thought and in spirit. The bible teaches us to be holy. Holiness may be a nice word to utter but it isn't an easy word to practice. I have struggle at times to remain holy and pure. However, circumstances cause us to forget our role to remain holy. We always prefer pleasure first rather than pleasing God. Looking at naked picture of a woman in a man context is pleasurable. The countless hours we search through websites going from one site to another leave us wasting hours and the result at the end of the day isn't fulfilling as guilt and shame sets in. This is when we feel so miserable that we run back to God for forgiveness. Lust is very subtle. Once it get a whole of us, we are oblivious to it and many principles and stands we make it life just falls apart.

The reason I am sharing this right now is because beneath this happy go lucky person that I am, I do face such struggles in life. Dr. Ian have publicly mention it to us and I respect his guts for doing so. I know its a shameful action to speak about but if Dr. Ian can do it, why can't I? I have to admit that the thoughts have not left me completely though there have some improvement due to distraction of work. It's hard to completely get rid of lust but the walk towards purity and holiness step by step brings you closer to the full nature of God.

Dating vs Marriage

Dr. Ian did make a strong about this to the CF. Its a common thing that university students like ourselves or even as young as primary school going children commit to this days. Many of them are getting involved early without really thinking about the future of marriage. The joy of having someone that you can hold and claim to be one boyfriend and girlfriend seem to be the main reason why people commit. I do agree with Dr. Ian that it is much more easier to serve as a single. No worries about caring for another person or taking his thoughts into consideration before doing anything. The thought about staying single or getting involved has always crept into my head. Am I ready or not? Have I met the right person whom I call as "The One"? Is it the right time to start a relationship? Many of the time this question seem to be the focus of our life that we loose focus on the more important things in life such as friendship, enjoying one another company, supporting one in the ministry.

It does have to speak for itself whether or not we are prepared for marriage should we go and look for one who could be my wife one day. I have always wondered why breakups happened. Is it because things are not going right with one another or we aren't prepared for a relationship? I do hope that if I were to be prepared to take the path towards relationship that I would prepare myself for it in the His timing and worry less about finding the One because He will definitely provide the One, the love of our life, our companion till the day I die.

Overall, I didn't really expect a very powerful message but in the end I am glad I was reminded about many things in my life, maybe because it is relates to me in one way or another.

A Bad, Exhausting and Hectic Day

I paid a visit with my sister to my grandpa at Subang Jaya Medical Centre where he was admitted on Monday for Jaundis. He was admitted when he turned yellow after having supper at Melor in USJ, where it is famous for its sup kambing. He is currently feeling better and has been transferred to a Selayang Hospital, which is a public hospital. Visiting him at his room, I was surprised to be told that the room cost RM198 for a night for a small room with a bed, chair, tv set and adjoining toilet. The price seem exhobitant as with a price of RM178, you are able to get a deluxe room with attached bathroom, 2 queen size bed and ample of living space at Allson Klana Resort in Seremban. It does show that private hospital are as pricey as hotels outside, lacking in terms of space and comfort.

The visit was painful for me. It wasn't because of seeing my grandpa but because of my forgetful that made me pay the price for it. I had decided to park my car outside of SJMC, thinking that I would be able to safe a few ringgit. However, I forgot to pay for a parking ticket that ended me sacrificing RM40 instead of RM0.40 on a summon ticket. It was my first summon ticket in my entire driving experience. My heart was aching with accruciating pain when I had to take fork out RM40 for nothing. I had always park without paying a ticket and have always gotten away with it. This time I was so lucky and the experience did teach me a lesson to always remember to pay for parking whereever I go. Besides, it also taught me that it is better to pay a few ringgit rather than fork our rm40 for a private enclose carpark.

My ordeal for worsen when I had to wait for my turn to pay my summon at MPSJ. I was the fourth person in line yet I had to wait for half and hour before I could take my invoice. That is minus the need to go to another counter to pay for my summon. There were many people there paying bills but most of them had summonses in their hands like me. One person was simply complaining to everyone who came in when he was awarded a compound when he parked his car illegally by the side inside SJMC itself. The idea of having to be summon by MPSJ officer inside a confined parking space had displeased him. It was also a sight when I saw summonses on cars parking illegally at the side in the MPSJ compound itself when I was returning back into my car. It seems like summonses seem to be a daily and profitable affair for MPSJ. There was also a report I read in the newspaper concerning such summonses where compounds were awarded to cars who park along the road in a housing estate. People were beginning to be furious over the whole issue especially to those who had more than 2 cars that could fit in their driveway.

I quickly made my way to my aunt house at Kota Kemuning for lunch and spend some time there with my grandparents. Initially, I had wanted to wait till they were on their way to Selayang but I couldn't wait any longer as I had another appointment to go to in which I was extremely late. I had initially said to meet a close friend of mine, Daniel who was on holiday from Singapore. He is currently taking architecture and its by far one of the most business minded person I met so far. He is currently operating a architecture stationary shop in campus and is undergoing another business idea that would include an illuminous material for shoes and bags mainly targetted for party goers. His other ideas would be to set up an interior design office in the future.

My trip to Mid Valley for my appointment was simply a rush as I had to travel from Kota Kemuning all the way back to Cyberjaya to fetch my sister and travel out again to Mid Valley. Distance, time and traffic condition only allowed me to reach there at 330pm, 3 hours late from the suggested time. I met his friend by the name of Dorothy who was studying Building at NUS as well. It was the first time I persoanlly heard that there was such a course as this and found out that it has to do with Quantity Surveying. We headed down to Coffee Bean to have our lil chat. My compound had left me broke and ended up having sky juice only.

Our lil chat was regarding about CF in general. They wanted to know more about our CF as they were praying and focusing on Malaysia this year and had asked whether there was any prayer request that we needed. They had initially wanted to come down to Cyberjaya for our CF on Tuesday but due to uncertainty and other not being able to make it, they cancelled the idea. I was amazed to find out what their CF was about and the similarities we shared. It was no difference in terms of planning and activities. However, they were far more bigger than us with a population of 1000 students registered, a bank account of S$25k, CG Orientated according to faculties or hostels, membership cards with an annual fees of S$15, missioned minded and their funds help support FES staff worker to neighbouring countries to do missions. It was an interesting discussion and hope that I will be able to contact in future to network and also to pray for one another. One thing for sure, their problems are very similar to ours. It does show that there are always similar difficulties which we share in an organisation.

My trip did not end there as I headed to Terry place to get some FYP work going on. It was a really frustrating time as I had some hardware problems which we were clueless about. My computer monitor could not be sensed my the OS and I was presented by a black screen in which I couldn't configure the necessary things to do. I was so pissed by the whole idea of Linux Redhat. Everyone seem to be shouting out loud the advantage of using open source but to me it was other wise. There was so much complication compared to Mandrake or Knoppix. Windows seems like heaven at that time though their problem were many but were hidden from the user view unless you are good at it to see its mistakes. Our entire time was worthless as there was no results to see at the end of the day. We decided to test it out on Terry PC first before going to our lecturers and supervisors the next day to troubleshoot the problem.

I came back and was extremely tired. A nice bath did help cool my nerve a lil and refresh me. However, I was simply excited and happy at the end of the day when I found out that I had a mail saying that a company in Seremban is considering me for a chance to expose in the testing area at Semi On and also got my resume send at last by the university to a Mesiniaga. I was thanking God for it and hope that my application goes through succesfully for the latter one. It was a very interesting day though there were some bad things that happened but I learned a lot and was happy in the end.

I Got A Title

After having spend almost 6 months of blogging, I just realise that I had not turn on the option for a title header. I had always wondered how others had title head and I just realise that it was all there all this while.



The time we have all been waiting has finally arrived. After having seen American Idol and World Idol, it was finally time to showcase our very own idol. Friday would be the first episode in which 8TV would be airing. The first few shows would show how many hopefuls who had travelled a far to make it to the audition at designated places would fare in their singing. The first stop was non other than the Pearl of Orient, Penang. It was interesting to see many "William Hung" wannabe. His influence can be found evident in many of the contestant. There wasnt any outstanding person showcase in the show. It was also quite difficult to see everyone going through the audition as it was only a one hour show for the entire week of audition. I read in the newspapers that not everyone had a chance to be auditioned by the official judges of Malaysian Idol; Rosman Ali, Fauziah Latiff and Paul Moss. Instead, some were interviewed by fellow 8TV staff instead. Imagine the frustration to go and be auditioned by a different set of people. A good start. Can't wait to see the next episode of audition at Kuching, Sarawak.

My Baby is Back

After an absense of almost a month, I finally got my precious camera working. it wasn't exactly spoiled but that I couldn't use it because of my faulty charger. I made the long awaited trip down to Mont' Kiara on Wednesday to get it fixed after comfirming its parts availability. I didn't want to make a double trip due to its distance but get it done in one go. Don accompanied me on my trip there. It was surprisingly when I recelised that the parking was quite reasonable considering its posh atmosphere. There were many cafes and bistro situated at the bottom floorspace with mutlnational offices at the upper floors. It really did feel like a working world. The though of having to graduate in a years time would placed me in places such as this. Don however had a few more months left. I took about almost an hour getting my faulty parts replaced and also checking through my camera. I spend about RM10 for everything in which I paid for the side cover which was loose while the charger was still under waranty. Now, to continue my favourite past time as a shutterbug. Here are some pictures I took of my drum sets back in church which I had delayed. The pictures didn't come out that well as I shot them without any flash.



Like Father, Like Son

Spending the weekend with family has always been my weekend agenda and something I do look forward and sometimes I don't. I like being together as a family but dislike the nagging part of it from my mum. I realise during the weekend about myself, looking at my parents as examples. My attitude and character have become more like both my parents as years goes by. This include even the bad side of it as well. My sarcasm, my rebellion, my disagreement with people who are against my opinion, my perception of church. I couldn't help remembering about my coldness to certain people after last week meeting. Feel that at times its not my real me. I hope I am not like that and I know I am not if I want to learn to be me. Its hard at times when we tend to follow people who we look up to especially parents and sometimes even following the bad side without realising it. Its time for me to stand up and learn to be matured and responsible with my life and pray that my actions do not stumble others. My apologies.

Football has one again dominated the minds of fellow compatriot who live football. I for one am one of these fanatic. Its another time of the year besides World Cup where we sacrifice all for the love of the game. I never really like football in the beginning. My indulgence in it happened a few years ago when I decided to get to know this sport a lil better just to strike up a conversation with people. I ended up loving Arsenal, my favourite EPL team. Looking at the lineups in Arsenal, I would be an eager France fan. However, I have always been a fan of the underdogs. Greece had proved the home crowd, Portugal wrong when they beat them 2-0. There isn't certainty in football. May the best man wins.

FINAL YEAR STUDENT MISSION TRIP

The Final Year students comprising mainly of epsilon FOE students and delta management and IT students. Pastor Joanne had came all the way from Malacca to see us and also to preach for CF as well. She came along with her kuncu; Mark, Solomon and Deric. I was surprised to see bags of rambutan, mangosteen and also curry puff. We ate and discusses mainly which country to visit. This years venue of interest seem to be projected towards our neighbouring countries mainly Thailand and Cambodia. Pastor had invitation to go to Bihar, India. However, we decided not to go there due to the insecurity and also the difficulty for us to go there to do mission as it wasn't an easy place to minister.

At first, Myanmar, Thailand and Cambodia made into the list. Each of this countries are different in their mintries. Myanmar would be more underground works where we would be gathering
in small groups, Thailand would feature more rallies and outgoing preaching while Cambodia would be more focused to social work. In the end, most of us decided to limit it to 2 countries in order to cut down on the travelling time and to concentrate on that particular area place more.

My thoughts on it. I would generally agree to go to suffer. The challenge that I would like to undergo is both physical and spiritual. I would like a new experience. That is why I would prefer to go to Myanmar and Cambodia rather than Thailand. Thailand would seem like an experience that I would be able to experience back in my homeland. There would be indeed more preparation in terms of presentation and band performance. It seems more fun but that is not my idea of mission. I also would like to consider local places such as the interior of Sabah and Sarawak for mission. It seem ironic to me to go out of the country to do mission when there is a field of mission work to be done in our own backyard. It is seemingly too early now to really decide on the place to visit. However, places is unimportant to me. It is more of meeting the need of that particular place be it provisions or just plain company.

It was simply one of the best audiowarfares I have been so far during my uni life in MMU. Though my bands didn't make it through the audition, we were happy to give it a try since we would be graduating soon. Multitudes of people throng to our down-scaled Multipurpose Hall and practically filled up every space that they could find. Me, Don and my sis came in around 8pm just to get good seats so as to have good view of the stage. Things started off pretty slow as they were awaiting for the opening act band to arrive. Katreena and James, the MCs for that night entertained to patiently waited audience by giving out freebies which was sponsored by Digi, Xfresh and ROTTW.

The time was now 845pm and the opening act band were nowhere in sight. The judges for the night, Disagree were already in the house already. The organiser decided to start the night with the first band instead, The Cannot Goes which was surprisingly a very good band to start off with. What was interesting was they had a fan with a playcard which read Multimedia Idol dedicated to the band. It wasn't that surprisingly to see the whole Idol thingi catching up with the people as the auditions for Malaysian Idol in KL would begin next week.

Then, in came the opening act for the night, One Buck Short. They didn't seem all that impressive by their looks. Mundzir, the vocalist was really round and cute. They apologise to the audience for being late as they were inform to come at the last minute. I realise that after noticing that the opening act wasn't Elisabelle's Tears. The tune to the first song they played was really familiar. My sis was quick to recognise the tune. It was one of the punk rock song i heard over Hitz.fm that had caught my attention but never did realise it was them. It was their debut single, That day. Man, were they really tight in their playing. Their skills got the crowd hype up and you could hear cries of satisfaction acknowledging their presense. The excuse for coming late was certainly out of the window. They followed up with another another song (which I couldn't remember the title). It was certainly a good opening act although it wasn't the first band to perform. Too bad, they had to leave the event earlier due to some appointments but it was certainly awe inspiring act.

Next up, it was up to the other 9 bands to strut it up on stage. Basically, most of the bands who performed were generally emo. Emo seem to be the latest genre that have been taking the music scene by storm. There were 2 experimental bands, one having a tabla and another a violin. Metal or as my friend puts it, "Rock Kapak" was in the air as well. They began playing songs from Il Nino and Megadeth which seem to change the mood a little or should I say till you heart began pounding to the beat. One of the bassist stood out from the rest by having a horny bass that incuded effects pedal to it as well. It was really fun sitting at the audience and going "WAH" and "WAT?". Me and my friends, Don, Terry and Ah Fui were having a ball laughing and joking around the entire session except stop to really pay attention to certain bands who were really skillfully tight as a band.

The moment we all been waiting for. Disagree stood from their judges sit and walk towards the stage. Zahid then rallied the audience to stand and ask those who would like to be upclose with them to come forward to the front. It certainly look like a mini-concert in our very own MMU. The crowd were supportive and were waving their lighters and handphone in the air. There was one guy who did a body wave as well. Talk about freedom to do such a thing in MMU. I was beginning to worry as James seem to be walking up and down the stage looking worried over the whole display. It was the fear of getting himself in trouble with the authorities for such a display. Zahid came and interjected during the song to ask the crowd to be at their best behaviour. They played 3 song altogether; The Enemy, Suicide Note and their ever famous, Crumbs. It was certainly a well displayed performance by one of the best local artiste.

I was delighted that I quickly exited the hall without hearing the results to the winners and went to the back stage to get their album before the crowd starts to pour in. I approached Ashrooff about buying his album and it seem like I was the first person to approach him about the album as he directed my request to Hamka, who seem to be the band's spokesman and so-called sales director as he began to scavenge his bag for boxes of their album. Seeing that I wanted their album, Zahid came over and thank me for their support. I was really surprised that there were so friendly and down to earth especially towards people who had taken a liking for their music. My friend, Don likened their music influence to Pearl Jam though Zahid mentioned he hopes he isn't like them. Guess, every band wishes to be original in their own profound way. Aziz didn't seem to be comfortable with the whole crowd thing. But, I manage to get all their signature on my first album from a local band.

It was almost 12am and our tummy were beginning to scream for attention. We decided to make our way to HB3 to get a drink and to Cyberia to get a burger. On our way to HB3, we notice bright lights coming from the Central Plaza and decided to check it out. We saw lights, cameras and people standing around. I realise after that it was an MTV shooting as Anuar Zain was there. The setting seem to picture a red carpet scene where Anuar Zain walks with a bodyguard and fans at the side screaming his name. My sis notice her lecturer, Ghazali directing it. Many people really seem to oblivious about Malaysian artiste. They didn't even know who Anuar Zain was. Guess, international artisteses makes a bigger impression to local ones. It was really an all eventful night for us having One Buck Short, Disagree and Anuar Zain in MMU Cyberjaya all in one night. This truly shows how happening this uni is and I am proud to say I have no regret coming here. This are events which would help me reflect on my uni life when I grow up. Sad to say, one year left to my stay here.

My Band Se7en


From Left : Terry, Me, Peng Yew, Don & Roland

This is a picture of my band mates. Though, we didn't make the cut through the audition but we tried. This will not be the last you seen of Se7en. There have been plans for some jamming session together just for the fun of it. Our main genre at the moment maybe be jazz fusion. I think most of the time it is just a time to chill out with one another with music as our medium.

Creating KANDO Together

Inspiring heart and spirit. The first time I heard this simple yet dynamic word was when I attended the Yamaha 30th Anniversary Endorsee Concert. It was a concert organise that feature one of the top musicians in Malaysia.



At first, I was skeptical of attending this concert though my mum persuaded me countless times to go for it. I didn't feel that it was worth the money although it was cheap. However, I gave into my mum persuasion and she got the whole family going for it. I realised then after the show that it was certainly a good move and I thank my mum for taking the effort to persuade me to go. She didn't want me to miss an oppurtunity such as this to see many great musicians on the same stage. Besides, it is certainly one of the best deal I have seen so far. RM30 to see acclain musicians on stage.

It was one of the rare moments where I got to see 3 drummers performing together on the same stage. Akira Jimbo, John Thomas and Jerry Felix. I was captivated by the 3 guitarist namely Abdul Samad, Jose Thomas and Hillary Ang doing battle on stage. In came, Roger Wang, the best solo acoustic guitarish skillfully bridging the chords and plucking the notes at his customed made bodyless guitar that included some effects as well. Next up, was the group we had been waiting. Akira Jimbo and Minoru Mukaiya from the famous fusion band Casiopea. With Akira on drums and Minoru on sync, there were able to churn up the music as if a full band was playing. Technology was the reason there were able to fill in the gaps. The highlight of the night for me was certainly the solo performance by Akira Jimbo on drums playing to the sound of Mission Impossible. Technology has helped in expanding the potential of drums to not only keeping the beat but also to play the rhythm. This has indeed widen the creativity of playing drums. 6 drum pads connected to the newest range of triggers help create rhythm and beat. After the individual essemble, everyone converge back on stage to present 2 songs together. 3 drummer, 4 guitarist, a bassist, 2 keyboardist, a DJ and 3 singers. What a sight!

Amidst the the gradeur of this whole event, I was happy to see a special someone in person for the very first time. I spotted from afar and was happy to know that prediction was right. She was non other than the girl I have a crush on, Marion from the 8TV Quickie fame. This was the first time I have seen her live on stage. She was definitely taller in person than on TV and alot more leaner as well. Guess, people do look abit fatter on screen that off screen. She was the MC of the night. Overall, she was alright but there are much more rooms of improvement considering the little blunder she made at the end when she forgot to credit Minoru Mukaiya. After the show, I had tried to catch her in person hopefully a closeup but she was nowhere in sight to my dismay. Without any expectation, I managed to spot her in the carpark and was tailing her awhile for a moment. It was a short moment but it was worthwhile to see her in person.

Don't get me wrong, I am not a Marion fanatic but I think she is one person I would like to get to know in person one day. I find her attractive, charismatic, funny and confident in nature. She would be someone I find the closest match to my dream girl. I've always like a cool and happening girl. Short hair seem to take a liking as well. Besides that, she strike me as someone who is into the arts or the entertainment scene. I feel that this is somewhat an opposite of me or should I say my alter ego, someone I would like to get to know. In reality, I don't think I would be able to meet someone like that and sometimes dreams will only remain a dream unless a miracle happens.:D

My Thoughts As A CF Committee

It was interesting for me when I attended the committee meeting yesterday. I had learn alot just by sitting in, giving my opinion and silently disagreeing to certain opinions that were brought. It certainly amazing to see that each and everyone of us have different personalities and characteristics. I would say it is miracle to see how we are able to work together as a committee despite our varied difference. Some were willingly giving their opinions while some sat with silence. I sat in silence at the very later part of the meeting. I realise that at times I have things to say which I choose not to say at all looking at the different personalities of people involve and to avoid dragging the meeting further. There are times I wish that the meetings would be more serious and include God in the picture. A lot of our opinions and suggestion seem to display an inward perspective to things. We tend to think about ourselves rather than the CF as a whole. We take responsibilities if we are able to cope with it having the fear that we would burned out.

I sometimes question myself why each and everyone of us agree at the very first place to commit ourselves in serving as a committee. I do agree that at times we need to take in consideration the main purpose why we are in university which is to do well in our studies yet we forget to focus on maintaining a balance for both studies and CF. Its saddening to see people who give excuses where studies is a factor of their commitment yet see them at times spending countless time enjoying themselves. To me, it sounds so contradictory. I am rather worried of the leadership of the committee. What I can do right now is to complement them yet at the same time know when to step in and say no to certain responsibilites. At times, I fear that I would be taken for granted. This feeling is not coming from me alone but others as well. This is why we are afraid of taking up responsibilities. Its ironic to see each of us pointing fingers at someone but never realise we have four other fingers pointing back at us. Guess, thats one of the danger signs we need to look out for as leaders. It easier to allocate then take up the responsibility ourselves. This is what I find so contradictory.

At this moment, I have decided to talk less and help more in areas that lacks people initiating in. One of the areas is talking to other people in CF. I find the click getting bigger yet disapprove of following and comforming to a group that label themselves happening "Christian". I feel leftout at times even when I have already attained a senior position. It is probably my nature to remain an individual who goes around filling in spaces especially talking to those who are dee quiet yet may surprised you with their kept secrets. I foresee this year would be a very monotous year looking at how the rest of the comms view it to be. There isn't any imagination or ambitious thought let alone taking a step of faith to organise something big. Its a whole new perspective that I have to sink in and to complement though my thoughts differ. Its not all about self now but its more about glorifying Him in our ways.

Feeling @ Home

This was the first topic of our theme for this semester. After 3 weeks of CF's where we had an Introduction to CF, an activity to announce our CF theme and the CG launching day, we finally went to something more serious. Annette came to speak to us on this topic. She didn't look too well and true enough, she was just recovering after falling sick the day before.I realise she was finding abit of difficulty trying to start the topic out but she soon was able to state her point so strongly that it got everyone listening even for myself. It is true at times where one find it difficult to call a place a home. Home seems like a place where you feel belong and where you are able to contribute. In order to feel at home, it takes the people who are already at home to welcome the people who stepped into the house. Besides, it also takes the person who stepped in to open his heart in receiving that welcome.

One of the reason we as a committee decided to speak on this topic is to let the fellow brother and sister in CF, especially the new ones to claim CF as their very own. It is important to know that this is a fellowship where each and everyone of us contribute in building it up. I can't seem to remember a statement in which Annette made that was related to clicks. Clicks has been very much a concern that happens especially in CF. My definition of clicks would be a group of people who are constantly hanging out with one another. I had never seen myself apart of a click but rather as one who likes to move around and mix with different groups of people. I have friends in CF and out of CF. There has never been a distinct group of people that I am always in touched with. This could be one of the reason why I am not really that very close to a particular person which at times is kind of worrysome especially seeking comfort in time of need. I guess the best person to turn to in times like this is ultimately my best friend, Jesus Christ.

Outpouring

Lately, I had observed that a group of people or should I say click had started to evolve in CF. I disagree with a fellow comrade that the problem of clicks has lessen. It has not as the one who commented on it is currently in it. Sometimes, its hard to see that you are when you are in it. The one thing that worries me is that they have began to get juniors into and turning it into something like an elite group. As a fellow CFers, we had often been categorised as a CF gang. I do admit there is such a group. However, I dare to admit that I am not part of it. Its so contradictary to say one is a Christian but being apart of a group of Christian. What about the people out there? Many Christians failed to realise that it isnt an inward relationship that we should be concentrating in but an outward one. To a certain point, many fellow Christian feel so comfortable being in a group such as this that they abandon their friends who aren't Christian. I vow to myself never to follow such suit whether being a Christian or being in relationship. It is simply such an ugly sight that sometimes I wish I didn't had eyes to see such disgrace. What I intend to concentrate on right now is to live my life to the fullest with God by my side to lead me along this path that he has laid out before me.

It uncanny to say that many of us blame God when things does not go right. However, we fail to realise that God has given us choices for us to choose from. We feel that God would do everything for us but it isn' true. God did not exist to spoon feed us. He gave an option, a choice to follow His ways and a choice to move away from the path that He has so graciously laid out for us. This was something that I had a chance to share when I was out with Don and Terry for our band practice. Life is so short that we forgot to make the full use of it to the best of our ability. Its easier to complain and fret when things do not work right for us. I see that so often when I read blogs of certain individuals. When do we move on? We move on we began to take a step of faith and act upon it.

I realises this week that results are so important in life. It so easy to speak about something, be it ideas, suggestions and condusive critism. However, at the end of the day if there is not result, it is simply pointless. Its just a waste of time and energy. I realise that a succesful communication is when someone speaks and the person hearing it hears it and acknowledges that message. However, it does not stop there but continues with effort to take action and a result is produced. It is so true when someone commented that there is no work when the displacement is zero. If one walk from one place and return back to where he came from, there is no work. There has to be an additional effort made to take another step where we act upon something and something is birthed from that effort. Many of us think that we had accomplished or contributed something if all we do is speak of it. I respect those who produce a result based on this.

This week have been a very positive week although I was worrying much about my industrial training looking at my fellow peers who had already got their placement. I for one am one of the few who have yet had my resume send to anywhere. I decided to take the effort to apply to as many companies that I know of in order to increase the probability of my placement. However, I thank God for being so real to me this week. I had asked Him about certain issues in my life that needed correction. It amazes me when I see it coming to reality. I had managed to get over my physical temptation. It is too early to say that I have overcome it but it is a good start and hope that I would be able to keep my promise to Him.

Relationships had bothered me for quite some time. But, there was not a hint of it. This could probably be the amount of work that I was concentrating on and getting my hands on it, with hopes of not finishing them at the very last minute which we as MMU students are so accustomed to. I began to dweel to much on it by reading books and hearing sermon on this subject. Lately, I felt that life is so much more that this. There are so much more important things that need more concentration that relationships alone. I felt that there I should begin to pay more attention on my life and my relationship with Him. Guilt in heart was in abundance in my heart but His grace was sufficient for me that my guilt was taken away and a sense of love enfolded me immediately. I cried out to him of my past failures but He never judge me. His love has been so indescrible to explain to its finest details that I am so blessed to know a Saviour like Jesus. One who sacrifice so much for His people even when they failed Him constantly. At this point of time, I knew that I should began to know my Maker. The one who make me who I am. I want to find who I was made to be and not regret for not doing so. I have put relationship to a hold. There are a few possibilities for me to consider, but I decided to not think of it for this year.

The Edge Concert at FGAKL

I had the previledge to attend the concert in FGAKL last night. My motivation for it was because I heard that the Desperation Band which would be leading worship was good. I had grown up listening to "Lord of the Harvest", my dad favourite album to date which was lead by Ross Parsley. I couldn't to see him in person. Besides, I had heard alot about a Klang boy who had emigrated to the US and was featured on one of the most talked about worship album in the US. I was truly blessed by them. On my way there, I was suffering within. I was never a good traveler which depends on the type of transport on it. I began to feel nausea as there moments where I began to feel like vomitting. Thanks to Karen for a Polo that I was able to sustain my composure till I reached FGA.

It was good to see Her Reverie in action as I had heard much of their effort. Justin was part of this band and it was my first time seeing him in action on a guitar though i knew him as a piano extroadinairre. I quite fancy Sue voice who was the lead vocal. The lead guitarist was as usual the emo kind of player, playing with so much expression and body movement. His performance on providing a distortion kept me in awe when he took out his guitar and placed it near the amps to create a distortion while at the same time going down to pedals to create mixture of sounds that gave the distortion a distinct sound as a finale to the song.

The worship was awesome as the songs were so much easier to sing to compared to Hillsongs. I quickly emerse myself in the worship and became pouring everything I got to Him. The music was good, in particular the vocals of Ross Parsley, Glenn Packiam and Jared Anderson. As a drummer myself, I was quite impress by the skinny drummer who strike me as someone who looks like Gavin Yap, a drama actor. In the midst of the worship, I had word about swimming in the deep ocean where life is in abundance to be caught. There was a contrasting picture of moving away from the gentle ripples of the shallow creak into the deep ends. I thank God for His word.

The concert was surprisingly over by 930pm. This could be to facilate for the number of school going children who were attending the conference. I bought the Desperation band album "On the Rooftop". Its simply an awesome album that include the song we sang "The Whole Earth". Since it was still early, I joined Alicia, Steven and my sis to the famous Steven's Corner which was situated nearby. Couldn't resit having the all time garlic chees naan. It was surprising packed with so many people especially during the weekday. We found there was a pasar malam going on around the area. It was simply an awesome pasar malam that was full of activity until about 11pm. I got me remembering the pasar malam in Malacca that was soon over by 9pm. One of the interesting things I saw there at Steven's was a group fo deaf and dumb people who were together mamaking like any of us. The difference was that they weren't speaking but rather making a conversation using their hands. I was simply amaze by the speed of their hand signalling. Other than that, I realise their communication were 2-way only. Unlike us, we could talk and more than 1 people hearing us. It was simply an impressive. What more they even had handphones with that. Guess, having disabilities doens't deprieve them of such luxury especially with the SMS technology at hand.

A Flush of Thoughts

As I was beginning to write my entry for the pass few days, I suffered a mental blog yesterday. Thoughts were all jumbled up that I couldn't find myself writing a complete sentence which I understood at all. Now I truly understand the meaning of having a writers blog. One of the reason behind this all was because of watching a movie "The Butterfly Effects" that was really disturbing to me. I was simply stone after watching the movie. It reminded me of another movie "The Lord of the Flies" which was equally as disturbing which featured two groups of boys who got lost in a deserted island and they began to killed one another to survive by eating the flesh of those killed. I realised that there are some movies that are interesting to watch that is better not to watched at all looking at the message that being brought across which seem so negative. After a good session of jamming at the studio coupled with a well rested night, I had manage to overcome the effects of a bad movie and is ready to pour my heart out this time.


I had simply good time back home this weekend. My brains had been pounded by a whole load of thoughts and ideas that seem intriguing and interesting yet thought provoking. I was blessed to find a lot of answers to alot of question and problems that I had within me. At times, there a lot of challenges that I faced within which I choose to ignore. I sometimes wonder why so many people choose to indulge in their problems to a point it make them look so miserable and disorientated. This is what I observed in their statuses on YM and also their personal blogs which I read occasionally. I do agree at times that I too myself suffer from this but I try my best to minimise this. The most common topic would be the topic of relationships. I must admit I have a fair share of thoughts on this as well. However, I realise there is more to life that to worry about a relationship. It is important but do we solely concentrate our entire life solely on this. I have faith that God would provide the right One at the right time. But not until then do we think about it and try to live our life to the fullest.

I had just listened to a sermon by Joshua Harris "Rescuing Sex Part II : Are you committing pornography?" I had downloaded it previously but didnt find the right time to hear it. It was alright for me, maybe because I am currently half way through my second reading of "Not Even A Hint" which touch on the topic on lust. I find it rather irrelavant to constantly fill my mind with this all the time. Relationships, Sex and Marriage seem to had got a hold of me in one or another. It had caused me to seek after it, to know what is right and what is wrong, what should be done to life a pure life until marriage. At times I get so confused at the end of the day and questioned myself whether it is worth to know so much. All of this seems relevant for us to plan for the future. However, is this the true desire of the heart? I believe the true desire of the hearts lies in knowing who I really was made to be and also to know the One who fashioned me in this way.

I learned a lot this week throught listening to a group of people from Australia and New Zealand who had stopped by to minister to us. It seems like a mission trip for them to come and blessed the people in another land. Something which is similar to the mission team that had gone into the interiors of Sarawak to minister to the indigenious people over there. Who should be mission be directed to? I would agree in ministering and sharing to people who have yet to hear the Word of Life that we as Christians believe in. It doesn't matter what country you come from or the social status that you possesed, but to reach to the lost in the world.

What I had learned from the seminar?

1. "The Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak"

There seems to be a constant struggle between the flesh and spirit. The spirit wishes to grow in spirit with God but the flesh does not want to. Such opposing action results in a constant battle within one self. There needs to be a balance struck between the both of them. I realised this is one area that many of us suffer from. And there is a tendency whereby the spirit suffer the outcome where the flesh is given the upperhand in decision. I have a similar struggle as well. Wanting to practice holiness but my actions defeats that purpose. It is so easy to build principle in life and say that you want to keep them. Faced with such circumstances, it is a different matter all together. I had fallen and have regret to have walk a path that was not meant to be walked upon. This is because I made a wrong choice and have to bear with this consequences and by God's grace, I would constantly remain pure before his sight.

2. "A Servant is someone who does what he is told to do. A Leader is someone who does something MORE THAN what he is told to."

This sentence truly stuck a chord within me. It was something that takes alot of effort and initiative to do. I sometimes find this lacking in the CF especially the CF Comm. Most of us do what we are told to do. Its more of a job rather than a service. Its hard to imply to them regarding about this though I had made attempt so speak of it and also to show them. At my position, I am currently the vice-president that functions to support and help the president. There are some disatisfaction regarding about how things run which have seem to be something that is so often see especially being in the committee for the past 3 years. At this point of time, I decided to not try to hard and be disappointed in the end. I would just go about doing what I am currently doing and help the most of my ability as I can that is to lead by doin more that what is being told to me. At the end of the day, its about serving Him and not men. Joy would abound if God is put into perspective of our service.

Family Reunion

It was a rare occasion to have everyone in the family to gather together during the weekend. Most of the time, everyone is so busy that we seldom have time to meet and catch up with one another eventhough we are in the family. The usual time of such gathering would be during Chinese New Year and Christmas. However, it was good to see my aunties and cousins

I was pretty happy and at the same time worried for my aunt after hearing that she would be setting up her restaurant's third branch in Cyberjaya. Ede's Cookshack had manage to survive and prived on areas such as Taman Mayang, USJ Taipan and now Cyberjaya. Her shop would be located at the newly constructed white building that was adjacent to the black building of LimKokWing. It was going to be situated at the foodcourt that had been build in that vinicity. That place would be targetted to cater to the people in Cyberjaya, namely working people and students. I even heard that McD and Starbucks would be opening there as well. All of this would be schedule to open their doors in mid-June.

My aunt shop is famous for its signature dish called "Country Dingos" that seem to be a rare dish around the Klang Valley. It is native American dish. She had learn the recipe of this dish when she was travelling in America as an air stewardess. Cooking seem to be a passion to her. That was one of the motivation that got her starting up her restaurant. One of my fears for her is being unable to cope in managing this 3 restaurant. She would be constantly running up and down to make sure all her restaurant are in order. At times when I see her, she seem so tired. My dad is also worried for her as well. All we can do right now is give her the support she need and try to lend a helping hand whenever the time comes. I guess I would try to help her in her shop in Cyberjaya when I am free since its only a 5 minutes drive from my place.

We were going through ideas of how to tap into the business opportunities. One of the niche market that my aunt shop cater to is to the African students. She had got alot of respond them that said her food taste like home because of her cooking that comprise alot of meat sauce. Looking at this advantage, we suggested that she target the international community in Cyberjaya that comprise mostly of working adults as well as students. This is one target group that had not been paid much attention to in terms of food. There is a big community of Africans, East Asia and Iranian students in this place. It be good to introduce some of their dishes so as to encourage them to visit her shop more often.

I do wish sometime in future I be able to venture into the food industries as interiors and food has always been the best combination I take a liking for. I guess channel 11 of Discovery Travel and Adventure was a major influence for me.