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Feeling @ Home

This was the first topic of our theme for this semester. After 3 weeks of CF's where we had an Introduction to CF, an activity to announce our CF theme and the CG launching day, we finally went to something more serious. Annette came to speak to us on this topic. She didn't look too well and true enough, she was just recovering after falling sick the day before.I realise she was finding abit of difficulty trying to start the topic out but she soon was able to state her point so strongly that it got everyone listening even for myself. It is true at times where one find it difficult to call a place a home. Home seems like a place where you feel belong and where you are able to contribute. In order to feel at home, it takes the people who are already at home to welcome the people who stepped into the house. Besides, it also takes the person who stepped in to open his heart in receiving that welcome.

One of the reason we as a committee decided to speak on this topic is to let the fellow brother and sister in CF, especially the new ones to claim CF as their very own. It is important to know that this is a fellowship where each and everyone of us contribute in building it up. I can't seem to remember a statement in which Annette made that was related to clicks. Clicks has been very much a concern that happens especially in CF. My definition of clicks would be a group of people who are constantly hanging out with one another. I had never seen myself apart of a click but rather as one who likes to move around and mix with different groups of people. I have friends in CF and out of CF. There has never been a distinct group of people that I am always in touched with. This could be one of the reason why I am not really that very close to a particular person which at times is kind of worrysome especially seeking comfort in time of need. I guess the best person to turn to in times like this is ultimately my best friend, Jesus Christ.

Outpouring

Lately, I had observed that a group of people or should I say click had started to evolve in CF. I disagree with a fellow comrade that the problem of clicks has lessen. It has not as the one who commented on it is currently in it. Sometimes, its hard to see that you are when you are in it. The one thing that worries me is that they have began to get juniors into and turning it into something like an elite group. As a fellow CFers, we had often been categorised as a CF gang. I do admit there is such a group. However, I dare to admit that I am not part of it. Its so contradictary to say one is a Christian but being apart of a group of Christian. What about the people out there? Many Christians failed to realise that it isnt an inward relationship that we should be concentrating in but an outward one. To a certain point, many fellow Christian feel so comfortable being in a group such as this that they abandon their friends who aren't Christian. I vow to myself never to follow such suit whether being a Christian or being in relationship. It is simply such an ugly sight that sometimes I wish I didn't had eyes to see such disgrace. What I intend to concentrate on right now is to live my life to the fullest with God by my side to lead me along this path that he has laid out before me.

It uncanny to say that many of us blame God when things does not go right. However, we fail to realise that God has given us choices for us to choose from. We feel that God would do everything for us but it isn' true. God did not exist to spoon feed us. He gave an option, a choice to follow His ways and a choice to move away from the path that He has so graciously laid out for us. This was something that I had a chance to share when I was out with Don and Terry for our band practice. Life is so short that we forgot to make the full use of it to the best of our ability. Its easier to complain and fret when things do not work right for us. I see that so often when I read blogs of certain individuals. When do we move on? We move on we began to take a step of faith and act upon it.

I realises this week that results are so important in life. It so easy to speak about something, be it ideas, suggestions and condusive critism. However, at the end of the day if there is not result, it is simply pointless. Its just a waste of time and energy. I realise that a succesful communication is when someone speaks and the person hearing it hears it and acknowledges that message. However, it does not stop there but continues with effort to take action and a result is produced. It is so true when someone commented that there is no work when the displacement is zero. If one walk from one place and return back to where he came from, there is no work. There has to be an additional effort made to take another step where we act upon something and something is birthed from that effort. Many of us think that we had accomplished or contributed something if all we do is speak of it. I respect those who produce a result based on this.

This week have been a very positive week although I was worrying much about my industrial training looking at my fellow peers who had already got their placement. I for one am one of the few who have yet had my resume send to anywhere. I decided to take the effort to apply to as many companies that I know of in order to increase the probability of my placement. However, I thank God for being so real to me this week. I had asked Him about certain issues in my life that needed correction. It amazes me when I see it coming to reality. I had managed to get over my physical temptation. It is too early to say that I have overcome it but it is a good start and hope that I would be able to keep my promise to Him.

Relationships had bothered me for quite some time. But, there was not a hint of it. This could probably be the amount of work that I was concentrating on and getting my hands on it, with hopes of not finishing them at the very last minute which we as MMU students are so accustomed to. I began to dweel to much on it by reading books and hearing sermon on this subject. Lately, I felt that life is so much more that this. There are so much more important things that need more concentration that relationships alone. I felt that there I should begin to pay more attention on my life and my relationship with Him. Guilt in heart was in abundance in my heart but His grace was sufficient for me that my guilt was taken away and a sense of love enfolded me immediately. I cried out to him of my past failures but He never judge me. His love has been so indescrible to explain to its finest details that I am so blessed to know a Saviour like Jesus. One who sacrifice so much for His people even when they failed Him constantly. At this point of time, I knew that I should began to know my Maker. The one who make me who I am. I want to find who I was made to be and not regret for not doing so. I have put relationship to a hold. There are a few possibilities for me to consider, but I decided to not think of it for this year.

The Edge Concert at FGAKL

I had the previledge to attend the concert in FGAKL last night. My motivation for it was because I heard that the Desperation Band which would be leading worship was good. I had grown up listening to "Lord of the Harvest", my dad favourite album to date which was lead by Ross Parsley. I couldn't to see him in person. Besides, I had heard alot about a Klang boy who had emigrated to the US and was featured on one of the most talked about worship album in the US. I was truly blessed by them. On my way there, I was suffering within. I was never a good traveler which depends on the type of transport on it. I began to feel nausea as there moments where I began to feel like vomitting. Thanks to Karen for a Polo that I was able to sustain my composure till I reached FGA.

It was good to see Her Reverie in action as I had heard much of their effort. Justin was part of this band and it was my first time seeing him in action on a guitar though i knew him as a piano extroadinairre. I quite fancy Sue voice who was the lead vocal. The lead guitarist was as usual the emo kind of player, playing with so much expression and body movement. His performance on providing a distortion kept me in awe when he took out his guitar and placed it near the amps to create a distortion while at the same time going down to pedals to create mixture of sounds that gave the distortion a distinct sound as a finale to the song.

The worship was awesome as the songs were so much easier to sing to compared to Hillsongs. I quickly emerse myself in the worship and became pouring everything I got to Him. The music was good, in particular the vocals of Ross Parsley, Glenn Packiam and Jared Anderson. As a drummer myself, I was quite impress by the skinny drummer who strike me as someone who looks like Gavin Yap, a drama actor. In the midst of the worship, I had word about swimming in the deep ocean where life is in abundance to be caught. There was a contrasting picture of moving away from the gentle ripples of the shallow creak into the deep ends. I thank God for His word.

The concert was surprisingly over by 930pm. This could be to facilate for the number of school going children who were attending the conference. I bought the Desperation band album "On the Rooftop". Its simply an awesome album that include the song we sang "The Whole Earth". Since it was still early, I joined Alicia, Steven and my sis to the famous Steven's Corner which was situated nearby. Couldn't resit having the all time garlic chees naan. It was surprising packed with so many people especially during the weekday. We found there was a pasar malam going on around the area. It was simply an awesome pasar malam that was full of activity until about 11pm. I got me remembering the pasar malam in Malacca that was soon over by 9pm. One of the interesting things I saw there at Steven's was a group fo deaf and dumb people who were together mamaking like any of us. The difference was that they weren't speaking but rather making a conversation using their hands. I was simply amaze by the speed of their hand signalling. Other than that, I realise their communication were 2-way only. Unlike us, we could talk and more than 1 people hearing us. It was simply an impressive. What more they even had handphones with that. Guess, having disabilities doens't deprieve them of such luxury especially with the SMS technology at hand.