[FLUSH]

Classes started way early in the morning. Manage to obtain the much needed rest but then again was again late for class, as usual. Can't seem to get over this bad habit which have been with me for so long. I hope that i will be able to break this bad habit by this year and try to be at least early for something this year and try to stick with it. Sometimes i rather frustrating especially when u are rushing for something. So i do hope that i be able to accomplish this goal by the end of this year.

My Day

Well, today was a pretty a relaxing day for me as I only attended 2 lectures, not that i was skipping classes for that matter. There was no tutorials for Advance Comp Architecture and my tutorial class for Digital Signal Processing was cancelled due to our efficient tutor Miss Mimi, who managed to finish the question last week. So practically I was in my room enjoying myself and doing the things that i love doing eg. hanging around aimlessly, sleeping and surfing, although my stomach was giving some discomfort due to my early morning visit to the toilet that was pretty "watery". Though, I did make some improvement which was checking out some blogs that were linked to Purdey's blog and also manage to look through alil of my notes for DSP.

One of the interesting blogs that ive come across was that of Joshua Harris's blog, the author who wrote "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" and "Boy Meets Girl". What's more surprising is that i just found out that he has just released another book entitled "Not Even A Hint" which deals with sexual temptation that is faced not only by men, but by women as well. Reading through the posting did make me feel like purchasing the book as it deals with something i struggle with at times. So i can't wait to get hold of it.

After reading thru the blogs and at the same time, reaidng through my notes. i notice the time had reached 6pm and I had decided earlier that i had wanted to go for a jog. At that time, I was in the middle of a chat with expressio and manage to rope expressio into getting the fats burned thought expressio was kinda shy at first. I managed to jog about one and a half round, which by far didn't make any improvement at all from my last visit there on Thurs. Maybe because I was jogging with expressio and also was kinda lethargic after the few laps. Kinda feel ashamed of myself cuz i wasn't able to match my ex roomie, Deric's record of 5 rounds (his max was 6 rounds). Maybe because he was alot fitter than me (notice he grew thin and u could see those abs) and i had an extra load hanging around me. But it was cool though i had to rtush back cuz i had CG later at 8pm. Manage to view some of the pics that expressio had developed and man, do i have a bad hairdo. I can see the prophesy of me being an Ah Pek has finally come through...

Heading back and having a quick shower, I quickly rush to Prof Chacko's place cuz i was already late but only to see Terry and Jin Hui at that place. Well, it started with the usual praise and worship, whcih i lead and an ice-breaker prepared by Ting Ting called " Lining Up". Pretty cool ice breakers if u are imaginative enought to create a situation. I was pretty upset because we didn't manage to have the BGR discussion that we have all patiently waited. Peng Yew was supposed to handle that discussion but due to heavy workload he couldn't make it and Desmond didn't have the time to prepare for it, re resorted to fellowship and ice-cream in conjunction with Bee Chee's belated birthday. It was really a long time since i had ice-cream and with longan and mix fruit to top it up, MARVELOUS! By the time CG ended and it was time to go home, it was already 11pm. After sending Jin Hui, Carol and Ting Ting home, me and terry quicky grab our dinner of maggi goreng at the HB3 vegetarian stall and headed back to the room for rest and relaxation while enjoying some chats and also blogging.

Lessons Learned

I realised that the flesh is really weak especially to lust and it normally hit u when u are alone, away form the public. I told myself countless times to be strong and to keep focus to Him when the notion of lust come about but today i failed again. I was so guilty of myself and dare not speak to Him. I could see Him turning His face away from me. But, i had to muster courage to ask for forgiveness once more and to ask that He guide me and show me a way to deliverance. I really felt that He truly love me and dispite my constant failures in overcoming this problem, He has always been faithful to guide me. And surprisingly it came at an instant when i was reading Joshua Harris's blog. He was showing me that I am not the only one who is suffering from it but there are countless people, both male and female facing this temptation. And it really spoke to me that in whatever situation, God has always a way out for those who come to Him and ask for His guidance. Maybe, that was one of the reason why i felt like getting the book because it related to me.

Another thing that spoke to me was living a righteous life. I had decided earlier this year that i would concentrate in trying to train myself to be righteous in every way that i do. I spoke about it during the interview for the CF Comms and felt that by reading Josh Harris's blog comfirm my goal and it encourage me to strive on. I guess what i want to learn this year is to learn to live a righteous and pure life just what Jesus has done and be more like Him. It's difficult with all the temptation that surrounds us and calls to us everyday. It depends how strong are we in Him. And it gave me an inspiration to build my spiritual walk in him and really be strong enough to say "NO" when temptation is right at the door steps.

Summing Up

I really do hope that as tomorrow comes and when temptation comes that ill be able to stand tall and not fall into sin. Since, tomorrow is tuesday and it would be a CF day, prayer day and also a day of fast for me. I hope that i may stay pure cuz i realise that i would normally fall on a tuesday because that's when the devil is really working to keep me from being focus to Him.