Tuesday, April 27, 2004

On My Toes Again

It was the start of the third and last week of my holidays. Realising it coupled with the constant nagging from my mum day in day out, I decided to make myself useful by cleaning up the boxes of stuff which I had brought back some 2 weeks ago which had remain untouched ever since. I rummage thorugh my stuff, sorting things necessary to bring back to my new room in campus and leaving stuff that I didnt need at home. As I packed, I realised the amount of paper that I could use as rough paper which amounted to almost a rim of paper. Guess, we never realise how much paper we waste individually. Imagine everyone of us. Will there be any trees left in the future? Recycle seem like a good option to start with.

Mood Swings

I realise today that man seem to be the more emotional gender compared to woman. The idea just pop in my head as I realised that I was beginning to act a little moody. It could be due to checking my results today, knowing that I nowhere improving my grades. Guess, its another bad news that my parents would be unpleased to hear. I never could wonder why I can never do well in exams although trying hard for them. Could it be my lack of focus? Getting myself involve in CF activities so much that my parents seem to take it as a reason of my failure to well? I have been passing exams but never been able to score them much. It is pretty discouraging at times to see others succeed in it when I do not. I realise that I was not the only one suffering from such a dilemma but also my fellow CF people who seem to be going through as well. Is it a curse I wonder? Why are CF people suffering from such a dilemma? The thought just ponder and I realise that it is something that we must be praying for. Maybe that is one of the factors that is bringing the CF at a standstill and having problems with attendance and people worrying about their studies and not able to commit. All the more we need to pray and pray that we be able to go through it all with continous determination, strength and faith. After numerous days having not gone online, I was connected once again to the cyber world. I message a friend of mine to come online to discuss on things we needed to do when we return back to campus. And I guess I felt kind of uncomfortable with the whole conversation as I felt it different and not as exciting as it used to be. I wonder why. Could it be that my results had cause the change in mood? Or was I going through the phase where some consider as the "Male PMS". I can agree on that i have my mood swings once in a while. And i recollected the IMU people mentioning that guys do suffer from PMS due to the hormones inbalance. It came to my knowledge of how to maintain a constant attitude all the time. Well, I could blame it on biological reasons for my mood swings but I guess that isn't the appropriate thing to do. I sometimes think to much and at times confusing myself all together that I began to develops a low self-esteem that make me feel so unworthy. Guess, growing up with parents who seem to worry alot has grown into me. I feel the pressure all the time when I am at home. Sometimes i do wish I was already out working and living my own life away from my parents nagging and constant worries. Guess, thats a part and parcel in life and sometimes we do get agitated once in a while but it is important that we realise how to deal with the situation in the best way and maintaining a positive attitude in it. Guess, thats where God comes into the picture and thats when we reflect and ask ourselves, What would Jesus do?

Incomplete Post

Most of my posting would be incomplete as I would be leaving out some pictures until next week due to slow connection of uploading. So, a more colourful setting would be revealed next week.

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