Godhelp

There have been a couple of things in my head recently. Things about myself that I have learned about during past week. I guess the reason behind this was because of having to attend the Election Committee meeting that lasted for almost an entire day. A group of seniors had met to select the new batch of CF committees who would be taking over the leadership in a few weeks time. Many hours were spend evaluating each of the candidates on their strengths and weaknesses to see wherether they be able to fit into a committee to bring the CF to higher level in the next academic year. It was quite interesting in a way as I got to know the nominees a little more better and also the people in the election committee as well. I realised that each of us are made different. Each of us have our strengths and weaknesses. These differences is what I find interesting.

As we began to evaluate each individuals, I realised at that moment that I was also evaluating myself. There were many things that I said regarding about the nominee seems to relate to me in one day or another. I realised then my imperfect nature and areas that I needed a change. There were some areas in my life that were lacking or weaknesses that I needed to deal with in order to grow further. Some of these weaknesses were only known to me and no others. They were not public lifestyle issues like drinking, smoking or clubbing but were private lifestyle issues that needed attention. I realised that the flesh is weak. When temptation comes and the urge to sin calls out to us, we would normally fall if our flesh is weak, what not our spirit also. I realised I needed to strengthened my spirit and God was the only answer to my weakness. There is a need for me to constantly do my quiet time everyday. I realised there is much strength from the Word and in prayer when it comes to the dealings of everyday life.

In wanting to change and grow, I realised that I need to be open and humble. I do not mind people coming up to me and challenging me on my actions. At times, I realised that I am blind toward my mistakes and need people to point them out. That is why my mom is constantly nagging at me to change myself. I know that many times I turn a deaf ear and in doing so, I suffer the consequences at times. More often than not, I choose to listen to my friends than to my parents. The mentality that they are old fashion in their ways seems to stop me from listening to them. I realised that many times what they say about me is exactly what I am and what I needed to change. Even if they were strict in many ways even until now, I knew that they are the only people who understands me the most.

As I began to reflect upon myself, I realised why certain things had to happened at this point of time in order for me to realise and to change before it is too late. Growing up seems to be the biggest challenge for me. I know that the time is now to change and I needed to be on my own to do so. With this knowledge, I understood the reason why I am still single. I knew the reason why I had to go through a broken relationship to come to my senses. It would be unfair for her if we would still be together. Honestly, I still do think about her at times because I still like her. I know it is different now as we hardly speak or let alone meet with one another. But, I know that she is well taken care of. It is good to see the guy that she is with have changed. I can see that he has quit his previous lifestyle, attends CF, serve in church and raised his hands during worship. At this point of moment, I know that he needs her more than I do. I realised that it is no longer about me but what God wants in our life. To gain is to loose. Even if I have lost someone I truly like, I know that I have gain an understanding at this point of time that God wants to mould me and I desire to take this oppurtunity to build my faith in Him and to know Him more. My goal is to change to be more like Jesus in everyway that I can.

One of things mention during the Election Committee meeting was about character and behaviour. It is easier to change one behaviour but harder to change a person's character. I do agree to it in some aspect but I also believe that God has called us to be His followers and to be more like Him. I believe God is talking about our character. If we desire to be Christ-like, we need God to help us in this transformation. It is a choice for us to decide, a choice I have already decided. I know that it is easier to speak of it than to act on it, but I pray with God's help and the people around me that I would humble myself even if it means breaking me into pieces, I want to achieve this goal because I know it is attainable in God's sight. In God's hand, I surrender my life.