What Would I Do If.....I Was In An Unequally Yoke Relationship?

I must agree that the issue of social boundaries of this country is very eminent in today's society despite being a multiracial community who had achieve its independence for around 47 years ago. Race, religion and gender seems to be barriers we put up infront of us all the time. Even Christians are no exception as we too place such barriers in our life that keeps us separated from individuals that may differ in our barriers. A good example that was pointed out is renting a house that require only Christian housemates only. "Love your neighbour as you love yourself" would be one of the two important commandment in the bible which had existed as a verse in the Bible that had made any impact in our life as believers. Though we have been called to be "The light of the world", this light seems dim.

As a Christian, I find this issue a familiar scenario in my life. I had placed before me barriers such as habits, mentality and social status on many occasions. Judging people based on this seems to be the easiest thing to do, reflecting Christ in myself to break those barriers and accept them as they are seems to be the hardest thing to do. I have been guilty on many occasions and many times God has revealed my faults in love that I had been convicted of my actions. He reveals that Jesus died on the cross for all sinners including myself and He has broken down every barriers that was made possible by reaching down to our imperfect being and encouraging us live a life with purpose, not as individuals alone but as a community with the people around us so that we can do the same just like what Christ has done for us. It is true what Robert quoted saying "The meaning of one's life is determined by giving meaning to another one's life."

The issue of unequally yoke between a believer and non-believer, such as the case that my group was asked to discuss seem to be a topic that have been debated frequently by many Christians. There are many approach towards this issue, the head and the heart. My belief is most of the time we use our head to deal with this issue. Most of us would know that we are not to be unequally yoke with our partner. Knowing this, our response would be not get into a relationship with a non-believer in the first place. There should not be any feelings or soul bonding with that person. This should be an order that we should obediently take heed. However, many do not take heed in reality due to our rebellious human nature.

The reasons behind it are endless. It seems the reason for many is "it just happened". We are unable to control our feelings and we get into a situation without realising that we have disobeyed. "Love is blind", as some might termed it. Now that you are in such a situation, the choice is to whether to pursue this relationship or not. In pursuing this relationship which would eventually lead to marriage, there are different scenarios that they can expect. One would be each one of the couple respect each others belief and is given the blessing by the other to continue their religious beliefs. They disconnect their religious beliefs with their relationship. The other scenario would be to have one party submit to the another religious beliefs. There are two response which is acceptance or denial. Acceptance would cause both party to be a believer or fall out of it. On the other hand, denial would cause each other to remain to their belief with the pressue of another to comform. This would put the relationship in contention for misunderstanding that may lead to endless quarrels when the issue of beliefs is brought up or worst case, a divorce. This would also cause one to either remain a believer or fall out of it.

My concern would be the approach towards not pursuing a relationship with a non-believer. What approach do we take? I would reckon that both are very much in love and have decided to take a step further in their relationship which would lead to marriage. There are two different types of individual, open and close individual. The approach towards this two individuals are divided into to, immediately call it off or to wait. Calling it off who result in the two individuals to be separated by placing different religious beliefts as a reason for a breakup. The love that had been shared by both individual would eventually come to a halt. This would lead to the response from both party based on their mutual understanding and level of maturity of each other. They can either separate as friends or separate without speaking with the other anymore. The latter relationship would result in a broken relationship where both or one party have decided to ignore the existance of one another.

If I would placed myself in such a situation, my answer would be to wait and take time to give a chance to the other party to know of my beliefs and to share with that person of my beliefs slowly with love. This would apply to whether that person is open or close towards my beliefs. One would be easier, the other would take a huge lot of effort. However, I would place a certain time factor in this relationship where I would inform the other party much early about my intention of marrying a believer and made a decision to continue this relationship in a duration amount of time before we decide to take another step towards the relationship or not. I would make it clear to the person that he or she should not comform and accept my belieft because of what we have gone through as a couple, the time factor that have been place before or the intention of getting married. The idea I would post is whether we are able to live with one another in love and harmony with God as the centre of our relationship. Should the person accept to become a follower of Christ, to God be the glory. If this would not come to pass, it is my duty to end the relationship with love and to still maintain the relationship as best friends because of the love we have shared with one another although we are not able to continue that love with marriage. I do not believe in fencing away people with my belief. However, I believe that everyone should have as many chances as possible to know Him as their personal Saviour.