Thoughts Lingers In My Head

I had just finish two of papers and am awaiting my final one. While many of the people around had already started and finished, well before I even started, it was horrible to be sitting in your room and studying while others around me enjoy the breath of freedom. I can't wait to have my own share of my freedom well after tomorrow, after the most trying paper that I had been busily preparing for, Java. Anyway, I can't to finish my third last paper of my uni life here.

Third last paper? Yeh, its drawing closer by the minute. Studying for the exams have allowed me on many occasion to think of my uni life, what have I done, what have I accomplish. I can say at least I don't think I have accomplish much. Five years have gone so very quickly. I have been active and spend most of my time serving in CF. I have manage to be able to do some things that I never dreamt that I could do before like be a leader, organise Cyber Christmas, getting people together for MMCG, dance, write a script. I realise that all of this are just a fragment of life and nothing more. At times I wonder that it is all just work.

Despite my active involvement, I feel lonely and isolated at times. I feel I have just accomplish dreams and plans yet failed to bridge relationship with my fellow brothers and sisters. I can see many of them enjoying time together, going places together and having good laugh. In my heart, I do want to join and be apart of the fun. I realise too that I haven't been good in connecting with people very well. I feel theres this gap between me and the people around me that I can't seem to understand why. It just dawn upon that I have always been like this since I was in school. I hid behind the crowd maintaining a relatively low profile. My friends are mainly not the most happening and obvious bunch of people. At times, its just figuring out where you actually fit in into community. Just been thinking about it.....social boundaries