[FLUSH]

1 February 2004

Woke up at 8am and as usual I had to rush to get ready for church this morning as I was serving this morning. I had to be much earlier today as we had to run through the songs with Kin Sang as he wasn’t able to make it for the practice the night before. The arrangement of the song this morning was pretty different although the songs were quite familiar to most of us. I realise whenever I played by concentrating on Him, it would sound so much better. There would be a different feel to it and I enjoy myself at the same time.

Pastor Ben was back at the pulpit this morning after his absence last week. Today was a continuation to last week strong message. It was rather strange and also equally amazed that I was able to concentrate to the message without having any side thoughts or that my mind was wondering somewhere else though there was once where it did. I could hear Him speaking to me about various issues in my life and I felt encourage by his faint whisper of hope and love. Its not the first time I heard him, not vocally but in my heart.

It was great too to see Andrew today. Went out for lunch with my parents at Kong Ming Restaurant. After buying some stuff from The Store and fixing my specs, I headed back home for a nice bath and rest. Will be going back to Cyber today. I wish the day wouldn’t have come so fast as it reminds me that I need to study for my exams and do my assignment which is due this week.

A Relationship to Ponder

The subject of relationship came to mind yet again. I was reviewing principles that I had laid out for my life to follow and realise that this principles or high standards that I try to live up, most of the time end up making me feel miserable because I am unable to live up to it. My flesh is weak and I have no discipline. What I say I want to do, I do not. Sometimes I feel such a hypocrite that I began hating myself in the end. Maybe at time I just think too much about all of this and try to construct a perfect relationship which I think is Godly. I feel sometimes I should just appreciate what I have and not think about all the unnecessary things that cause me to feel miserable but take things as it is and trust God that He will show me His ways and plans.