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9th – 15th February 2004

It has been a very gruelling week for me. So much things to do that I didn’t had enough time to sit and pen my daily blog. Coupled with unfinished blogs in the pass weeks, this has add up to more daily recording of my life that I somehow kind of forgotten. I decided to just pen down important things for the week and hope that as I write I would be able to recollect all the activities that I participated, thoughts that I have been pondering and ideas that have brought about due to certain events in my life.

Exams

I could have foreseen what an interesting week it would be for me. Three exams in a span of four days. I was trying to cover as much as I could, taking time to finish studying the last subject of the week earlier and covering the earliest paper at the very dying minutes. It has become a trend for many especially when you have so much to study in a short span of time. So, its easier to cover the first subject at the end just to avoid redundancy and also forgetfulness especially after a week absence from a subject. I started my exams with Advance Computer Architecture followed by Digital Signal Processing and ending with Digital Computer Design. Both Advance Computer Architecture and Digital Computer Design was pretty tough. It was so tough to the point my lecturer for Advance Computer Architecture had to provide us with hints to start the first question. However, to no avail, many of us was still struggling to come up with the solution. Digital Computer Design challenge our design concepts by testing us on multiple of diagrams that only the mind could remember a portion of what was in the subject content. With such difficulties, I tried to answer all the questions and not leave any blanks so as to receive some points because of my attempt. Digital Signal Processing was quite reasonable although it was a lot more difficult compared to the previous year. Anyway, I just hope that whatever that I have done I would be able to garner a good amount of points for my effort although I doubt that I would be able to pass all of it.

Brother and Sister Appreciation Day (10th February 2004)

It was going to be a special day for both the brothers and sisters as we prepared ourselves to appreciate one another. Due to this special occasion, we decided to have our event at the Multipurpose Hall at Cyberia. There weren’t many people who came but it was sufficient to make a crowd. Many juniors especially those in FOE had exams the following day. However in spite of their absence, we manage to have an enjoyable night. This years BSAD was much more organised compared to the year before. As usual, mid terms always came in the way. Fortunately, this year it was all that bad.

The guys did three presentation for the girls. It began with a love scene between two couples played by Benny and Chris. They were simply hilarious and due to Chris funny attics, it was even more funny as he played quite a very interesting girl getting wooed. Next came, the members of a remake of the ever famous Outcasts video, “Hey Ya!”. It was hard to tell whether it was funny or not but I guess I did make the girls giggle over our stupid impersonation. I had the last laugh as I had to impersonate as the frantic female fan who ran up to him and was all over him. With whatever I had on me and also a wig I made out of paper, I decided to transform myself to flamboyant slut with tight fitting “blouse”, really short shorts (I had to rolled it up to make it more realistic, amplifying my long but hairy legs) and to parade around like a so called model. It was embarrassing but I decided to go on with it. Once in a lifetime you actually get to do stupid things like this. Being stupid and not forgetting girlish have always been my hidden talent, if you notice. The other interesting character was the “Love Haters”. Why love haters I do not know why but I feel that they should have been called the Dumb “Makers”. With helmets in their head that really covered their identity, Ian, Boss and Chern Liang did exceptional with the hand thingi. Our ending tribute was a self written song dedicated to them by Alvin, Wee Liem, Leo Koo and Nicky. It was pretty impressive. Funny lyrics as well. What was even more funnier is Leo Koo, who was considered the best dress guy there. Checked shirt with a tie strap around it, shorts and socks worn on a pair of Japanese slipper. Respect.

Girls on the other hand were as always, more better than the guys. I guess girls take more initiative compared to the guys. Four girls went up stage to present a dance accompanied by “Kiss Kiss” song. It was rather funny that they tried to look cool by not smiling. However, I would have prefer a smile rather than a straight face. At least it helps to exemplify the dance a bit more. However, considering limited practices, it was a good show to start of with. It was a first time for me to see Shen dance. The finale of the song ended with us being splash with scented water. They got us this time! The next item was a game prepared by the girls for the guys. Previous to that, the girls were also tested with a dare game where they had to get their hands into either 3 pails of funny looking water and retrieve a stone with a number on it. The number will then decide which special cocktail we were going to give to them to taste. Man, it was a horrible smell but I’m surprised the girls took it quite well. Guess, they are more tougher than us. The girls on the other hand, presented the guys with a bottle and a little net. I had seen this same game before when Chinese Language Society (CLS) did it for their Chinese New Year Night. The guys were given the task to scoop a fish into the bottle by using a net that was made our of tissue paper. It wasn’t easy for me not because the tissue can be easily torn but , every time I tried to catch one, I jump back into the tank again. So, I decided to bring the net out in my last attempt so as to prevent it to drop back into the tank but rather let it drop out of it.

This wasn’t going to be the final thing the girls were going to give us something to remember. Their last item was a herbal egg each and also a special brewed drink boiled from dried wasp. I nearly jumped out of my pants when I saw it. Facing my fear, I gulp the drink down leaving the wasp at the bottom of the cup. However, due to everyone curiosity I decided to taste what it was like. There was practically no taste at all, just a crunchy dry shell. Overall I enjoyed myself a lot although the thought of test the following day looms in my head.

A Walk With Him

In the midst of my business, I was still able to find some time to do some exercise. This was because of my guilty conscience that was brought about every time I saw those fats hanging around my belly. I decided a little effort does bring me a long way even though I can’t see the differences now. In my attempt this week, I manages to run around Cyberpark about 3 times. This was a double improvement for me as I usually can run about half that amount. It was maybe due to my persistence to carry on even though it was gruelling. Besides getting fit and hopefully thinner, I gain another advantage as well.

I realised that whenever I jog, my mind is free. There was no thoughts that would cloud my mind and cause me to think unnecessary. All I had to do was just concentrate on the run. I realised also a good start and good breathing helps carry you further in distance although the trail maybe hard to overcome. This help me to hear from Him. With a clear mind, I was able to reflect upon my life and at the same time hear a gentle whisper in heart answering me on certain. Most of this I didn’t consider about but make me realised a lot about life, my actions and people around me. I could sense Him right beside me jogging along my side and making a conversation with me. The frequent jogs make me realise that He was always there beside me even when I though that He wasn’t. I realise now the love of God is so real. So real that it speaks to the heart. All I had to do was to be still and hear His voice. It was also a challenge for me to recognise His still voice and to differentiate the other voices that may overlap it. I realise another thing that I feel more comfortable speaking to him out in the open as I walk or jog than sit in my room and try to talk to him. I realised that spending a quiet time with Him doesn’t only mean sitting quietly in a room and speaking to him. Different people have different approaches in speaking to Him. Some may be praying quietly in the room or some maybe singing to Him. For me, it would be jogging or walking.

I am still trying to find the best way for me to read His word. Sometimes I just feel dry when reading it. There isn’t any passion. No joy. No excitement. I know that it is important for me to read it but how to make it interesting? I used to love reading picture bible when I was little. I could read it over and over again. Even at times as I read the bible now, I would have those pictures in my mind. I realised I am more a visual person compared to a person who love text. I find it easier to remember pictures or diagrams. Even faces I am able to remember clearly compared to remembering names. I hope that I would be able to use this advantage to help me love the Word. Maybe that’s why I always believe that “A picture speaks a thousand words.” I got an idea after attending Bible study on Thursday. It was really interesting to visualise the story of Jonah by re-enacting the scenes in drawing . Besides that, Annette also challenge us to create our own study bible but jotting down out thoughts or question when reading the Word. I felt it was a really good idea, considering that it is something personal and not just following someone else experience with the Word. I guess though conversion comes from personal experience rather than experiences of others.

Valentine Day (14 February 2004)

The most anticipated day of the year for most people. A day where lovers meet, money is splashed on flowers and gifts, a night to remember. To me, it was just another ordinary Saturday. I never really saw the significance of Valentines. Maybe it was because I haven’t been able to spend this special day with someone special just yet. Or perhaps Valentine to me wasn’t only on 14 February. What is Valentine? How did all begin? Why was this day dedicated to lovers?

I recently only found the origins of Valentine. Receiving forward messages about it and also hearing a message being preached by my pastor, allowed me to get a glimpse into Valentine. This is the story of Valentine;

Emperor Claudius II of the Roman Empire had determined that married men made poor soldiers. So he banned marriage from his empire. But Valentine, who was a priest, would secretly marry young men that came to him. When Claudius found out about Valentine, he first tried to convert him to paganism. But Valentine reversed the strategy, trying instead to convert Claudius. When he failed, he was stoned and beheaded in 270 A.D. During the days that Valentine was imprisoned, he fell in love with the blind daughter of his jailer. His love for her, and his great faith, managed to miraculously heal her from her blindness before his death. Before he was taken to his death, he signed a farewell message to her, "From your Valentine." The phrase has been used on his day ever since. In 496 A.D. Pope Gelasius set aside February 14 to honor St. Valentine.

So, this was how valentine came into being. A day dedicated in commemoration of Valentine and has been associated in the past until this day as a sign of love. As for me, I never saw the reality of celebrating it on this day alone. If I were to celebrate Valentine, it would be everyday. I feel that love should be a daily affair and not an annual thing. Just like our relationship with our Father, He has shown us his love each and every day that it is always a celebration every day because He knows that we still love Him. Our relationship with our Father is similar with the love we share with our love ones, be it with family, friends or that special person. Sometimes I cant comprehend the love that He has shown to me. A love that is humble and pure, never expecting anything in return but just obedience to Him who has laid out His plans for us. The matter of relationship did come to mind again. I am trying to understand Gods love so that one day if I meet someone that I like, I would shower her with the equal love that He showered upon me and His children. Agape love. Serving rather than being served, and loving rather than being loved. Have I found her? I may have. There were many indication that she would be the One that I had been praying for. Honestly, it is a tough decision to make especially when one is considering a long-term relationship, a relationship that would grow and blossomed till the day of marriage. I could have started, but I decided to wait and to be really certain about it. True love waits. As I wait, I would rather take this time to build myself up as an individual and at the same time build upon a strong foundation through friendship.

Long term Friendships

I wasn’t wallowing at home and pondering on this though. I have a life and I’m not going sit and wait for things to happen. A wonderful night it was as I was invited for a gathering at Huei Wern’s place together with my sister. I can remember her from very young as both my sister and her had been classmates since Standard 1. Such a long time and I was really amazed that friendship can last so long. I too have friends that I now still contact with, some from as long as Standard 1, a handful that were as long as my kindergarden days at Twinkle. It is really hard this day for many of us to have friends that we have known for such a long time.

I once had a discussion with a friend about long term friendship. Some of them do not agree to the fact that friendship can survive that long. Many would think that as time goes by, people change. As people change, interest changes and sometimes it is hard to secure a friendship. There is some truth in that but does it affect a friendship. I was pondering before that many of my friends have changed especially at this adolescent age where we tend to prefer an independent life, freedom and to follow our dreams. I have friends who like to smoke, drink or even get their hands on drugs, would friendship be lost altogether? I used to despise people like this. Maybe because I was brought up in a family that were foreign to this practices. But I realised my mistake of judging people after I had a neat discussion with my “cheh cheh”. We should always look at people’s positive side but be wary of their negative and not be influenced by their practices and habits. Most of the time we build walls that separate us from others because of our own outlook on people. What is the difference with us? Are we so perfect that we can have the liberty to judge people from their rights and wrongs? Sometimes we should learn not to be too holy that we forget to be real. If not, how can this people be safe if we put a barrier right in front of us?

It is easier said and done because I sometimes suffer with that mentality. I guess I have begun to look at people in a more constructive way if I leave the my personal perception behind. It does help in friendship. I do hope that my friendship with my friends will continue to last till my old age. At least, I can really appreciate what it really means to be a friend.

Many of those who were at her gathering were mostly friends of my sisters and friends of hers. I realised girls are more initiative when it comes to friendship compared to guys. There are a lot more closer as compared to guys. Guys are more of company rather than personal. We tend to concentrate on the not so important issues in life such as making fun of teachers in school or talking about the latest update in the Premier League while girls conversation have more depth such as profession or marriage. Most of those were mostly friends from church and also school friends. I was categorise as “Camp Friend” because I started to talk to her in camps although I have known who she is since she was a young girl. I was rather amazed before the end of the party that she gathered people around and told of her appreciation to them, how they have blessed her in many ways. Photo taking was also sweet as some represented long ago memories like the class they were studying in Standard 1. Other than that, I was pretty puffed up after indulging myself a wide array of food that was prepared by her mom and also her fellow friends. A nice night of food and fellowship. A perfect combination.

A Celebration for Two On One Day

This week I was going to celebrate two of the closest people in my life. My mom and sister. But what was even more surprising is both of their birthdays fall on the same day. February 12. We used to joke about it that my sister was a present to my mom on her birthday. That was 18 years ago. But I feels good to share a birthday with someone, especially a family member. As I wasn’t around during the weekday, we decided to celebrate both their birthday during the weekend. This year was going to be something different as my sister suggested to give them a surprise birthday cake. Chocolate banana from Secret Recipe. Other than that, we also wanted to celebrate both my grandparents birthday on the following week as well as both my sis and I won’t be coming back home. It was a great lunch at grandparents place on Sunday afternoon. I always enjoyed my grandmother’s cooking (to me she’s the best in the world). I hope to carry on this tradition of cooking good food and also to cook my grandmom’s speciality of Peranakan food. Buah Keluak!!!